Being and Becoming: Drawing Near to God through Scripture
Written by Toni Anderson
I’ve been looking forward to starting this series on the spiritual disciplines. At the same time, I’m reminded that if we had started this series a year ago, that anticipation would most likely have been replaced with anxiety.
In my postpartum season, I remember distinctly feeling like between all the counting ounces of milk, timing of naps, and washing pump parts, I simply did not have room in my brain for anything else. I struggled to feel connected and tethered to God. For a long time at the beginning of my daughter’s life, I allowed myself to be in survival mode in so many ways. My mornings weren’t exactly spent reading and praying. It was a refining season, a time that exposed how much I believed my acceptance from God was tied to what I did for him. Who am I if I’m not doing great things for God? How does God feel about me when my Bible remains untouched for weeks at a time?
At first, it felt like freedom, although perhaps not in a good, holy way. I wish that season would have been a time of nearness to God, learning how to take upon his gentle and lowly yoke. A slower season can be a welcome invitation to embracing Jesus in all the small moments of your day. Instead, it often exposed how I couldn’t hide behind my spiritual actions.
Around when she turned a year old, I remember God bringing a gentle nudge of what my true needs were. I started to remember that more than getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep, I needed to spend time in the Word. Not to gain some spiritual points in my column or prove that I can do important things for God. It felt like a holy longing to be with God.
While doing a daily examen, it was encouraged to look at moments of your day or even seasons of your life with Jesus next to you, imagining that you’re viewing it together and reflecting on it with him. When we view things with Jesus, we can see things through his eyes. How does he feel about me as he’s watching me care for my child in the middle of the night? What does he think when I choose to sleep over getting up and reading his Word? Is he a relentless master, commanding our obedience? No. Is he pointing out other Christians who are walking more faithfully? No. He’s giving gentle reminders that his testimony is our heritage and our joy (Psalm 119:111), that his word is sweeter than honey (Psalm 19:10), and reminding us that his kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
So, I started to try and get up before her to read and pray in the quiet. Many days it happens, some days it doesn’t. The point, of course, isn’t completing the task, but rather saying with our schedule, “You, God, are the best thing I have going today.” (from Sara Hagerty, one of my favorite authors!). Being with God changes us.
So as you encounter this series we’re doing in the spiritual disciplines, let use these disciplines to drive us forward into delight. Because being near to God brings fullness of joy. Being in his word guides us into that joy. This is why we’re studying the disciplines. That we would be with Jesus and become like Jesus.